IC Contact/Open Post

[fantabulousandwich]

Thread Overflow / Voicemails / Texts / Messages spray-painted on the walls of a trashed apartment

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TFLN 04/24

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

@ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

You know, you could come if you want. Bring an iPad or whatever and work your magic on the go. I'll kick open all the doors; you just make sure they're unlocked.

@prodigalmess

[fantabulousandwich]

[Harley frowns at her phone, and goes back and checks.]

... No. That's what you get for being right above Allison in my contacts.

But the point still stands. You ever been in a bind like that?

TFLN 05/09

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here]

@polymorphcomplex

[fantabulousandwich]

Oh. Well. Thanks.

I mean I was never really his sidekick, just-

never mind.

Well, keep me in mind, Miss Tique. How Miss Terious you are. Is 'it's complicated' more of your gender, or bio? Or it is complicated cause you're technically supposed to be incarcerated? Cause trust me, I have zero problem with any of that.

@hosannas_of_anguish

[fantabulousandwich]

I know, Jonny. I got your back too, you know.

It was funny! That's why it got so big. But all right, no more going viral. Pinky swear.

So I'm assuming you want some of this stuff for the toxin, right? What is that gonna look like? You ever mixed Venom in before?

@ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

Aw, Eddie; what'd I do, sit on your hat? I'll fluff it back up for you if you want.

TFLN 05/15

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here]

@ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

[She just straight up calls him. This is too important a conversation to have over text!

Also it'll be harder for him to lie when he's using his big boy voice.]

You know what's really interesting about that, psychologically speaking, is that not only is he still on the list, you subconsciously think he should be on the list; whatever you decided was important to program and weigh heaviest were qualities that tilted in his favor. I think it means you're super duper compatible.

[It sounds like she's driving.]

@hosannas_of_anguish

[fantabulousandwich]

..................... holy shit Jonny

I was just going to tell them about Slimer

Is that how campfire stories work now? Christ, kids these days are really working that 'late empathy development' angle.

TFLN 05/22

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

@ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

Nah, place is empty. No pictures but- one of some chick in the bathroom. So whoever's place this is, they're definitely a prick. Also incredibly dumb for leaving me here alone.

For the record I wasn't kidnapped or anything. I was definitely out drinking last night. I just rarely wake up somewhere totally unfamiliar.

[It takes a minute for the next text to come through.]

Okay, on the roof... Midsized apartment building, maybe fifteen stories. Mid to upper class. I wouldn't even bother breaking in; they don't have anything worth my time. No Wayne Tower from here. Cloud cover ain't total; they're to the- well, some direction. Clear on the other side; the moon's out.

05-29 @hosannas_of_anguish

[fantabulousandwich]

Okay, okay, I won't test you anymore; even if you could get it right, I can hear the drawl in your voice. [A deep drag on her cigarette, and Harley tips her head back, blowing smoke into the night air.]

You're not drinking alone, are you Jonny? You know, only alcoholics do that. When you drink with company, you're just a drunk.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He tsks when she points out his drawl. He would usually hate that, but he's far enough gone to not care to much. What he does hear is that draw. sitting up to shake a cigarette out of the pack, the glass set aside.]

You got me there, child, An' I ain't alone. [ He lets out a strange whistle, before the sound of something cawing can be heard. Clearly Nightmares or Craw have come home to roost. ] So, just a quiet night in, don't worry 'bout me.

[ She could hear it, so why bother hiding it now? He took a moment to flick open his zippo to light up. ]

06/14 @ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

[She literally squeals; the knives are forgotten to put Eddie on speaker, so she can play the file, knees bouncing a little with excitement... though the bouncing fades as she listens. A lot more awkward on Eddie's part than she'd expected. Where had smooth-talking self-assured Riddler gone? Or did that just speak to the depth of his feelings? And sure, Jonny, had sounded pissed, and both of them; but then, at this point, this little stunt would probably have already been forgotten.]

Oh Eddie. I hope it went better than that. [There had to be more- neither of them had seemed the least bit pissed at DnD night. No- he'd said she had to work for it. There was a happy ending! She just had to get it out of him.]

Hmm... I know I mentioned your web over Gotham, but it definitely deserves to be said again. That's what it looks like from the outside, anyway. You're the spider right smack in the middle; you could pick any room in Gotham, and find your way inside. Pick a person, and learn everything about them, down to what they look like when they take their shirt off. [That's probably what Harley would use that kind of power for, anyway.]

It must be one hell of a power trip. It's a power trip just knowing I can text you and ask you anything, and you could find the answer. If Gotham is anyone's, Eddie, it's yours.

[All right, so maybe now she's laying it on a little thick. But it just feels so good, after a weekend full of fury and fear, to have someone she can ring this well, and this hard, who probably knows exactly what she's doing and lets it happen anyway. If that's not friendship, what is?

Frankly Slade doesn't know what he's missing. Telling people how amazing they are is great.]

[ainissesthai]

[He smirks at her squeal, the expression only fading a little as he hears the distorted sounds of the recording being played. It had been a little awkward on his part but Harley hadn't been the one getting glared at knowing there was toxin sitting in the bag beside Jon the whole time.

...He almost feels bad about the thought now, as little sense as that makes.]

Harley- [Edward's laughing, having to stop his work until his hands are steady again. She's almost too good at this - almost because every word is true. Gotham was his once and could be again if he wanted it. It's nice to have that recognised, even if it's to butter him up. She sounds like she means it and that's enough to have him flush with pleasure, chest puffed out and heart picking up with the excitement that always comes when someone recognises his ability.] Maybe I shouldn't say any more if you're going to keep talking like that. You aren't involved with anyone right now, are you?

[...That could be a step too far so he quickly goes on-]

It might have gone better than that. You heard it, he had more to say to me after I finished recording. No thanks to you, I might add.

[He pauses, letting the moment drag out as he starts work on the board again. Harley should know he's going to milk the story for all it's worth.]

He asked me why I'd consider it - and people say I need my ego stroked! [Which... it's tempting to give her a chance to work the rest out of him but he's hitting the point where he just wants to brag now.] Naturally I was as eloquent in answering that question as you would expect. I'd say he was pleased, flattered as you'd expect.

...Care to guess what happened next?

06/21 @ikonsuits

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

[Bruce might be housetrained, but he's not leash trained; or maybe Harley just never bothered. He strains at the collar with enthusiasm, shoving his nose to the fire hydrant on the corner and letting out weird, throat-gargling giggle.]

I don't need your help. [It's an automatic response, these days; but the smile is still lurking on her face, turning another corner, steps taking her further into the maze of alleyways behind Gotham city streets.] Although if you wanted to be my Mr. Miyagi and teach me the Way Of The Sword, that might be kind of fun! Blunt force trauma can take awhile, and guns are so loud; sometimes you need the right tool for the job. And you're one of the best tools I know. [The laugh is more a snort than anything else, but it's audible.]

And I'm not going to be an escort, are you kidding? If I wanted to listen to strange men talk about themselves, I'd have stayed in the therapy business; at least then I didn't have to pretend I'm interested.

[She clicks her tongue at his description; but Harley's eyes are gleaming.] Your angel says that still counts as cheating. There are so many shitballs on this rock, if you just limited yourself to them you'd still never stop. But I say good for you, goddamn. And both of us say that next time, give me a call. I'd be happy to take care of that particular rock and a hard place for you. Wait, were you just wandering around with a sword? [Her eyes light up.] Are you in the suit? Because that's cool as hell.

[ikonsuit]

( It helps that Slade is strong, strong enough that Bruce's yanking doesn't cause too much trouble for him. People say pets tend to look like their owners. At least Bruce and Harley sound the same. )

Clever. ( He doesn't laugh, but Slade never really laughs about things. It's all about tonnage for him, which is far more difficult to pick up on. If Harley can't hear his stifled amusement from those two syllables alone, she needs more practice. ) Not going to train you, though. Swords aren't toys. Can't see you backflipping with a set of katanas, either. Stick to what you know.

( She's going to have to sell him on it if sword lessons are something she really wants. He's always done well with apprentices, even if he feigns otherwise. )

If you can deal with Nygma and Crane, you can deal with any variation of strange man talking about himself. ( Pointedly not including himself in that list because, a, he's not strange. And, b, he doesn't talk about himself. )

What? No. I'm not going to walk down the street in Isherwood's goddamn suit-- ( He stops to tug Bruce away from a pair of kids looking to get to know him. Sure, he's friendly, but he also ate a man, once. ) I deal exclusively in shitballs. Used to. Good folks aren't as profitable. ( And maybe this super-villain has enough of a good side to avoid killing people who don't deserve it. ) Not letting you take over my job. Keep charging too much to people who don't know any better.

Where are you, anyhow?

06/27 @ikonsuit

[fantabulousandwich]

[From Here]

Hey, you're the only one of us with an actual good hangout spot. My place is cramped, Jonny's is creaky, and I've never actually seen the inside of Eddie's trap-protected Secret Lair. So get used to it.

But I guess I can stop washing my hands if that's what you really want.

Tuesday then. Who're you hanging out with Monday? I thought you didn't have friends.

[ikonsuit]

( She's lucky she can't see his grimace. )

No. That's not what I really want. Keep washing your goddamn hands.

Not a friend. A business meeting.

What's the movie night for? If I wanted horror, I'd fight Solomon Grundy.

06/27 @ainissesthai

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

YES, are you KIDDING?! Are we going right now???

Good timing; I think I finally got the consistency of this goop right. Won't break the sprinklers, but it still splatters beautifully. I might need to change first though.

[ainissesthai]

Not right now, no. They have actual security so we're doing this one my way.

If you want to come over you can bring your 'goop' and we can discuss it over some tests?

[revenga]

can i borrow ur car?

( This is fine. )

[fantabulousandwich]

Honey girl, nobody borrows my car. But I'll drive you. Where you at and where we going?

*heist music begins*

[ainissesthai]

At exactly 5:23 pm every mobile device in Gotham suddenly comes to life. No matter what the owner is doing, a bright green and purple app takes over the screen, declaring itself to be 'The Riddle Factory' and refusing to go away or let the device be switched off. After a few seconds of the logo, a video feed begins:

The image is dark, a full body shot of a man, head bowed, hat obscuring his face, hands planted on the handle of the cane before him. "Good evening, Gothamites. I'm here with some bad news for you all. You see, day after day I look around our fine city and see you all going about your little lives, caught up in your pedestrian little concerns. Never thinking about the bigger picture, never looking beyond what's right in front of you. Never exercising those minds of yours. I'm terribly disappointed in each and every one of you. The sheer lack of intelligence and creativity in this city is simply shameful. But never fear..."

Colourful lights illuminate the scene, and the Riddler raises his head, spreading his arms wide and smirking at the camera. "The Riddler is here to help!"

He cups a hand to his ear, eyes wide. "What's that you ask? How do I plan to help you all overcome your mental failings? Why it's simple! I've devised a game for us to play that will get all those brains working! If it doesn't, then I'm afraid it will be dire for the ties that keep this city connected."

Balancing his cane idly on one finger, he continues, "So here is tonight's game! I've planted explosives around the city. My app is going to present you all with a series of riddles. I expect you all to do your best to answer them. If enough of you get the answers right, the bombs will automatically defuse, one at a time. But, too many wrong answers? Boom!" A depressed tone plays over a cartoon explosion. "Not enough people playing? Boom!" Another explosion, another depressed bleep. "You have 20 minutes before the first one detonates and 4 hours to diffuse them all and save our fair city. Now, remember, no cheating!" He leans closer to the screen, eyes narrowing, grin wide. "I'll know if you do."

Settling back, Edward tosses his cane up into the air, catching it by the curved handle and pointing it the camera. "The clock starts now! All that's left to say Gotham is: Rrrriddle me this!" The image vanishes, replaced by the first riddle and a count down in the corner of the screen reading 3:59.

In his base Edward whistles cheerfully to himself as he checks in with Query and Echo. They each have a target to hit and a list of what he needs from them. Harley should be meeting him outside Wayne Tower shortly. His app is busily mining personal data from everyone in Gotham. And his little game and the explosives placed throughout the city will keep any of the city's numerous vigilantes busy.

And if all of the bombs aren't found and diffused in time? Well, it will be a good lesson for the people of Gotham.

[fantabulousandwich]

The right clothing for a burglary is important.

For once, Harley is covered from her feet to her neck. Two differently-coloured boots, red and black lace up to her knees over leggings of a deep charcoal. Her turtleneck is a crimson so deep it might as well be black. The same old navy backpack is on her back, and holds the rest of her getup, as well as this and that, when she meets Eddie on the corner.

It's a good thing literally everyone in the city is staring at their phones. Or Harley in her burgling getup on a blistering August afternoon might be drawing some looks. As it is, she's halfway to tying the turtleneck around her waist for the rest of this particular mission.

Eddie gets a glare, when he approaches, and Harley holds up her phone. A riddle is on the screen, green and purple background behind it. "Seriously? No exemptions for friends? I've been trying to remember the order of the farmer crossing the river problem for like ten minutes."

Action | The night of their network conversation

[icy_veins]

(From here.)

[Just as promised, once the evening rush had died down and all the books balanced, Eridanus made his way down to the first floor of the Devil's Nest. The air is heady with the smell of sweat, booze, and cigarette smoke, but the atmosphere around the troll-elf is nothing short of high-class as he gracefully slides onto a barstool behind Harley's turned back.

A long, glittering claw drums a short tune against the gouged and scarred bar-top, as his opaline maw settles against the knuckles of his other hand.]

Working hard, Miss Quinn? [His guttural voice is nothing short of a purr, as his tail flicks behind him with mischief. It's hard not to feel rather excited with the promise of a vintage cracked open just for him.]

Hopefully no one's given you too hard of a time tonight. Though with Rafe around I doubt you have too much trouble.

SO sorry this took so long!

[fantabulousandwich]

[It's towards the end of the night; and that means it's time for prepping the close. Currently Harley's up on a stool, dusting the top shelf of the display of bottles behind the bar. Hey; this might be monsterland, but dust is still a thing.

The sound of the voice behind her has her her glancing over her shoulder; and when she does, a broad smile spreads over her face.] Eri, baby! I was just wondering if you were coming down. [And she's already in prime position to swipe the port where she'd hidden it behind some old whiskey bottles. Tucking the dust rag into the apron around her waist, she steps back to the ground, turning to face him.]

Nah, it's been pretty quiet. Busy! But no one trying to get in my face. [Leaning over the counter, her smile goes fond, looking him over.] And I got a bat under the bar. No sense bothering Rafe if I don't have to, you know? But what about you- none of the GLs trying to get uppity with you, are they?

<PasUnPolicier>

[inseine]

[After this fuckin' thread because Slade Wilson is a menace on his household. There's 0 preamble. Hell, Slade might actually still be at her place when Javert sends this message.]

Out with it, have you seen Slade Wilson today?

<GiggleGrrl> cw; drug use

[fantabulousandwich]

[In an apartment in Djavulenstad, Harley chokes halfway through a huge hit as the message appears on her laptop. Give her a second to cough it out.]

Wilson? Why would I know where he is

I'd suggest you ask Joey again but

Sounds like he shut you down faster than a cop knocking on a fraternity's door

TFLN 05/08

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

@ dyseuphoria

[fantabulousandwich]

Okay first off, I didn't go to thief school, I went to clown college, OBVIOUSLY

2)Someone just wanted to see your ass, because if it was your chest they were looking at there was NO reason to cut off your pants

D)

[But that's about as far as she gets, because Harley, still giggling, is pulling up in front of intake/outtake in her big, beautiful, stolen yellow convertible. One hand is on the steering wheel; one hand tosses her phone onto the seat next to her, and comes up to do a two-fingered whistle of appreciation over the man in the hospital gown a few feet away. He's so lucky the paparazzi haven't found him yet.]

Dee, I got some baggy cutoffs in the trunk that might fit you, but if you're free-balling in my shorts you owe me a new pair.

TFLN 06/19: @faiththatfuelsu - I hate proving I'm not a robot. Especially when I get it wrong.

[fantabulousandwich]

I can have lots of reasons. See you then! Don't bother knocking, just come in.

[It's hot, for June- hot enough that Harley's got all the windows open and fans going here and there, trying to keep things cool. Bruce's water dish (well, water mixing bowl,) has ice cubes floating in it; and Harley's down to cutoffs and a racerback tank top, standing barefoot in the kitchen corner of the small, dingy two-bedroom apartment.

Why she said not to knock is obvious, when Faith walks in; pop music blares from the radio in the living room corner, and Harley's got the blender going, mixing up something vividly blue. She doesn't hear the door open; but she does hear Bruce the hyena scramble out of his bathtub bed, giving his hooting-giggling howl as Faith opens the door. She turns around waving frantically, one hand keeping the blender going.]

Hey girl! [It's a shout, over the noise.] What's kicki- oop, look out!

[It's about then that 120 pounds of hyena, tongue lolling out in excitement, launches himself at Faith. New friends! New smells! Everything is exciting!]

Captcha is evil

[faiththatfuelsu]

[She can hear the music from outside and she thinks it has more to do with Harley than the graciousness of her neighbors that no one complains. It could also be Bruce, who she braces for on impact and manages to avoid getting flattened.

Not exactly what she had in mind when Harley had asked about dogs but she finds that it makes sense in a very Harley Quinn kind of way.]

Might need to borrow a towel. [She's faced worse than a little hyena slobber so she's not serious, at least that washes out. Demon blood was more of a bitch to deal with.]

TFLN 07/23 @ainissesthai - aaaaand here we are again

[fantabulousandwich]

[From here.]

How do you always know what to say to get my motor running?

[Bruce is flopped out on the floor, lazily mouthing his chewtoy, and Harley's putting the finishing touches on a second coat. Her toes alternate pink and green, the pink pale and pastel, the green deep and vivid. It's an interesting combo, not her usual- and maybe it's just to show the man on the phone, next time they start taking things off.]

I saw his balls, honey; girl hyenas might be ballsy and run the show, but pretty sure they don't have those. Almost had to hold a vet's clinic at gunpoint to get him fixed; but they took a bribe instead.

All good pals and jolly good company~

[ainissesthai]

[Somehow, that's not a dealbreaker, so why not continue? He does love to show off his knowledge.]

'Pretty sure' is pretty incorrect here, Harley. In the females, the labia similarly forms a pseudo-scrotum, sealing off the vaginal opening. Buuut, if there was surgical intervention, then we must assume they knew what they were doing.

[Harley wouldn't have trusted just any vet with the beast she is worryingly attached to. Not that Edward dislikes Bruce... He just doesn't ever want to be alone and unarmed in a room with him. But that's enough about the less important male in this conversation.

Those toenails would certainly be an interesting sight next time, but for now, Edward shifts in his seat, getting more comfortable.]

My next stop is in the Bowery; I just crossed Finger River. How do you feel about your chances?

@ onewaytohell

[fantabulousandwich]

[From Here.]

[A giggle escapes her, low, shaking her shoulders, when she reaches for the bottle again.] Honey. There's no way I'm getting anywhere near upstairs. Have you met me?

And it's not even that, honestly. [A pause, while she takes another swig.] No. What really pisses me off is that they were right. All those- nuns, with their- big stupid wimples- you know how hot those things are? [The push of the bottle in his direction is just a little clumsy.] Fuck that burns, it's perfect. Good choice.

[onewaytohell]

[Well at least he doesn't have to try and think of ways anyone could redeem themselves from her particular line of work. He's having a hard enough time on himself.]

More experienced in taking them off than putting them on. [He snags the bottle again with a suggestive little grin and takes a swig.] But they're not the only ones that are right. There's a lot out there that people don't know about, can't see normally. I've come across old gods from other religions before too, and things that aren't in any testament, new or old.

Best I can offer you, sweetheart, is the knowledge that they might be right about some things, but a lot of those nuns aren't any more likely to go upstairs than your average joe. Don't let the high and mighty attitudes fool you.